random doctrinal thoughts

Two random thoughts that I need to write about before I forget.
  I just love the idea of the COMPLETENESS of the Atonement.  The fact of the the matter is, everyone in this lifetime is going to be hurt by someone they love or trust.  Everyone will also hurt someone that loves or trusts them.  The atonement covers both parties.  The words "He descended below all things" to me represents that Jesus experienced the shame and depravity felt by the one who has sinned against another as much as the fear, pain, and trauma experienced by the victim. 
  It has taken a long tome to feel forgiven (to forgive myself rather) for knowing that I was given the stewardship of my children and was kind of lame about it.  I felt I was neglectful and crabby a lot. I felt angry and resentful and I took it out on my kids.  The thing is, the more I've opened up about it and admitted my failures as a mother, the more I understand EVERY MOTHER FEELS THE SAME! No one is as good at this job as they want to be.  Everyone and I mean EVERYONE feels they were too angry, too tired, too selfish, whatever, at times.  I'm not saying that it's okay to yell, ignore or purposefully hurt your children, I'm saying that the Atonement was made for us ridiculously dumb parents AND the children who suffer at our hands.  What makes it easier for me to feel healed from this part of my life (and to be clear, it was not all bad, some of it was pretty great), is knowing that I tried my best to teach my sons this principle of the Atonement for them. If THEY choose, THEY have the opportunity and the right to feel cleansed, peaceful, healed, clearheaded, whatever they need. They just need to choose to believe, humble themselves by opening their minds to the possibility of faith - specifically in Jesus Christ as a divine being that has the power to deliver those things to them based on His voluntary, merciful, loving act of taking upon Himself and experiencing ALL our shame, fear, anger, pain - so we don't have to. It doesn't make sense on paper (which is why faith is crucial), but it honestly, no matter what side of the sin you are on, WORKS! Completely.

  The second thing I was thinking about is really random and came from a question that 10 year old Spencer Kandare asked on Sunday as I substitute taught in Primary on Sunday.  We were talking about the parable of the wise man/foolish man building their respective houses on either rock or sand. A wonderful parable about choices. Spencer asked, "If we could get in so much trouble, why didn't God just let Satan save us? It seems so much nicer." Yes Spencer, sometimes choosing sucks!  I think I have subconsciously felt the same. Like if Heavenly Father loves us so much, why would He make it so hard to be with Him again? And the whole idea of glory - Lucifer wanted the glory for himself, Jesus wanted the glory to go all to our Father - what, didn't He have enough? What's the deal with all this glory anyway?
  So it occurred to me that we talk about going back to live with Heavenly Father again as being the goal to making right choices. Well, we've already done that.  He doesn't want us to just live with Him, He wants us to live LIKE Him.  We can't do that without overcoming stuff.  Also, God's ways are not our ways, and that's where Lucifer was confused too I think with the whole glory thing.  If we would have followed him and been automatically "saved", we would've been so grateful to him, we would have loved and worshiped him. However, we would be the same spiritually small, innocents as we were before without any reason for experience.  God's glory comes from US earning our own glory (see Moses 1:39).  Lucifer didn't want just God's glory, he wanted OURS - Boooo! When I choose God's plan, God's way - as I've been taught it - I choose experience, growth and progress, and therefore more glory for myself. THAT is God's glory too. Yea!!!  Harder? yes Spencer- but as it turns out, much, much nicer.

old...eh...long time friends!

Last week I had the extreme pleasure of having one of my dearest friends stay and visit with me.  Michelle Stevens Sundwall came to visit from the 15th-19th.  She also did me the great favor of helping teach a choral conducting class for the Stake Music training workshop I put on.  Of course she did a marvelous job and everyone was thoroughly impressed and well taught.  After the workshop we got changed and went to City Place - downtown Palm Beach. (for Salt Lake-ians it's our Gateway).  We went to Panera and MovieCo to see "Leap Year" - silly movie, fun date!  Sunday, I accompanied Michelle as she sang "O Holy Jesus".  Seriously gorgeous. I gained props for knowing someone that freakishly talented.  She then accompanied me as I sang "I Rejoice" for Gospel Doctrine class. I also taught the class, so it was a tad tacky that I sang too, but too bad. When was I going to get a chance to have my friend accompany me again? I think we talked the whole rest of the day. Dave was a peach getting dinner cleaned up so we could chit-chat.  The next morning we went to breakfast at JohnG's on the beach in Lake Worth (to die for cinnamon-almond french toast!). We walked on the pier with the fishermen and their dead fish catches all over the place. A creepy ending to our visit, but still fun!  It was a BLAST having her visit, but I was exhausted! I can't even remember what we talked and laughed about, but we barely took a breath from the time she arrived until she left.  Her husband Pete was a peach too! He took care of four of the five kids (one of which is only 4) and held down his practice while his partner (Dr. Dan Egan - another friend from high school) is down volunteering in Haiti. 
I freaked out a little before she came because I wanted everything to be perfect, but as soon as she got here, it was like always. She's my friend no matter what my house, kids, or butt looks like - or doesn't look like.  There is nothing like the gift of having a friend that has known your history since you were 8 yrs. old and will probably know your history forever. Girlfriends are essential - Best girlfriends are eternal!

starting over

  I made another a new goal to start writing again.  I think Sundays are best. I'll just try to remember stuff from the previous week.

  Two weeks ago was a little rough as we took Taylor in to get his Graves Disease taken care of by irradiating his thyroid gland.  Medications weren't working.  He still was only sleeping two hours at a time and he was down to 140 lbs. (he's 6'3")  We had to drive to Weston (an hour away), wait for an hour in the radiology waiting room, have a ten minute procedure, then drive an hour back - four times! ACK!! Actually, it was lovely having the time to chit chat with him about all kinds of things, but that waiting room was gross. The craziest part was that Taylor had to stay at least 5 ft. away from everyone, including the dog, for three days. He has to go back for more lab work in two weeks, but in Palm Beach, so that's not so bad.
  My sister Amy came last Sunday to visit with her son Pete. She was supposed to go on a cruise, but Duff (her husband) got a job working on a film and had to cancel.  Fortunately, she got the cruise money back, but not the flight. Pete's full name is the same as Duff's so he got to use the other ticket.  We hung out here Mon. and Tues. then went to Orlando Wed. - Sat.  She got free Disney tickets from a friend.  We went to Epcot, Hollywood studios and Wild Kingdom.  Pete was awesome - he'd ride a few rides, see a few shops and was ready to go. Because the tickets were free, no one felt obligated to "get their money's worth" and stay all day. LOVELY!!  There was some sadness however, even being at the "happiest place on earth". There was a massive earthquake that devastated Haiti. With so many dead and dying, it felt a little wrong to go on rides and eat over-priced food. Speaking of food, however, we were very good at trying to eat healthy and clean as our family is doing a biggest loser competition before our San Diego hamfam reunion in July. Dave came up on Fri. night, and we went to the temple on Sat. morning.  I really paid attention to the ceremony as I had to teach about the creation in Gospel Doctrine today. For our last night together, Amy and I went to see "Young Victoria" and had Japanese Bento boxes at Shingo's.  The movie was great and so was the food. The greatest part however, was the company.  I love that my sisters are my best friends and it is the best treat to have them visit me. Like all treats, it's never enough!

source of true power

I have sweet assurance because I know that by the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I have the power to overcome anything, including myself. In Isaiah 55:8 - we read, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." The idea and source of power for the world are completely at odds with that of Our Father. The world is confused with the idea that true power comes not from superiority, aggression and dominance, but from humility, submission and love. The ultimate source of power that we as mortal humans can experience comes from the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As members of any Christian religion, the term "power of Atonement is often heard. Do we understand what that really means? The Atonement is the perfect example of humility, submission and love there has ever been and therefore the most perfect source of pure power there will ever be. Jesus Christ had both mortal and immortal qualities. This gave Him the ability to live here on earth as a mortal and also the immortal ability to take upon Him all manner of human suffering that keeps us stained and separated from Our Father. This immortal ability to overcome the world on our behalf, also allowed the sacrifice of His mortal body to be the vehicle necessary to pay the price for our sins, cleanse us and then give Heavenly Father the opportunity to allow us back into His perfectly pure presence. The fact that Jesus had these abilities to atone for us is of course extraordinary. What makes the Atonement perfect is the fact that He humbly, submissively and lovingly chose to do it. Though I don't have the immortal power to atone for myself, I do have the mortal opportunity to have the spiritual power needed to overcome myself. This comes from following the example of the Savior by choosing humility, submissiveness and love.

Christ showed perfect humility by leaving His heavenly throne and condescending to live as a mortal on the earth to be our exemplar and Redeemer. My show of humility has come when I have chosen to acknowledge my sins and weaknesses, take responsibility for them and recognize the need to repent of them. According to Doctrine and Covenants 1:28, 19:23, 112:10, and 124:97 the blessings and power that come from humility are strength, knowledge, peace, guidance, answers to prayers, comfort, and be given, in the very hour what we should say. As often as I have felt the need to repent, and then humbled myself, I have experienced many of these blessings. As a woman that occasionally feels inadequate as a mother, wife, fill-in-the-blank, these blessings have given me power to overcome these feelings. I have been given knowledge to understand that what seem like inadequacies are just normal, human attributes. I have been given in that very hour to know what to say to those whom my normal, human attributes effect, to ask forgiveness and help them feel loved despite my human failings. I have been given peace as I have felt forgiven, strength to forgive myself and others, courage to move forward and not dwell on the past, and power to surrender my will to the Father's

Jesus displayed the ultimate act of submission in the Garden of Gethsemane when he said "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. The need for me to submit comes when I have unfortunately displayed the opposite attitude, that of pride and fear. Pride and fear have always led to painful ends. Usually the pain ends up being extensive enough that I have no choice but to let go of my false sense of control and surrender. The choice though, is not just to submit, but submit to what or whom? There are a myriad of choices; some are sinister and addictive like, drugs, pornography and eating disorders, others are just distractions, like TV, a novel or just a Diet Coke. Too often I have chosen to surrender to worldly (read easier) things that have given me something that disguises itself as peace: relief. Relief is lovely, but limited. It brings a temporary deadening of pain and only lasts as long as it takes the next difficult circumstance to arise. When I have chosen to sacrifice my pride and my will on the altar in subjection to my Heavenly Father's will, I have put myself in a position of being connected to divinity, holiness, knowledge and light. This connection has provided me with understanding and ability beyond what I had before. I find that Christ's grace is indeed sufficient for me and that my weak things have been made strong unto me (Ether 12:27). I have discovered that my pride and fear have been replaced with peace and power, the power necessary to overcome the obstacles and pain that seemed to previously break me. This divine connection also opens me up to the greatest power of all - love.

The Savior's unconditional and pure love is proven by His atonement. John 15:13 tells us "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Again, through the power of the atonement along with my attitudes of humility and submission, I have the ability to develop this pure love, or charity. I can see that the apostle Paul was right when he said "Charity never faileth" (1 Cor. 12:8). I have been able to love myself beyond my faults and weaknesses and see myself anew because I am new. I can now love my neighbor as myself. I can love a rebellious child, and indifferent husband, an exhausting extended family member, a difficult neighbor, an enemy. With this power of love comes the ability to free myself from feeling responsible for anyone else's choices and the conflicting emotions those choices can harbor. This power not only gives me the opportunity to make covenants, but the desire to keep them. The commandments are not longer on the "must do" list, but on the "can't wait" to do list. Service becomes natural instead of inconvenient.

If I follow the perfect example of Jesus Christ by choosing humility, submission to the Father, and love, I have the sweet assurance that I will have the strength necessary to overcome myself and any circumstance. As I practice these choices, have faith in the real power of the Atonement and endure to the end, I have the sweetest assurance of all - the eternal power to be in the infinitely loving and pure presence of God.

Rights for homosexuals - just a smokescreen

If two consenting adults of either gender want to commit themselves into a lifetime partnership - more power to 'em. We should all receive the same CIVIL rights regardless of orientation. The government, however has NO CIVIL right to change not just the definition of marriage, but the CIVIL rights of those that the traditional term of marriage has defined. If we were just talking about a dictionary change, that would be one thing, but laws that were passed in states like MA, and trying to get passed in states like CA & FL are worded in such a (subtle) way that your CIVIL right to morally disagree with this new definition will be gone. If you did not agree to have your child (as early as kindergarten) taught about homosexuality, you could be arrested for a hate crime. If your church opens themselves for public worship, but your doctrine stated that marriage is between a man and a woman and ordained of God, and therefore could not marry a gay couple, that church could be sued, fined and shut down. If a doctor didn't feel morally right about inseminating for a gay couple, he/she could be fined and fired. These are not speculations, they have already happened in Massachusetts.
Believe it or not, there is a bigger problem. In CA. the majority of the voters wanted to keep the definition of marriage between one man and one woman. The CA supreme court in a 4-3 vote overturned the decision. The definition of marriage to include homosexuals is a smokescreen. It's about giving away our power. We (gay and straight alike) CANNOT allow 7 judges (who can be bought), to legislate from the bench. We CANNOT allow 7 judges to assume superiority over the voters and the ability to overturn a majority vote. Laws like Prop 8 in CA tells the judges that WE THE PEOPLE decide, not them.

EXPELLED!!!

Last night Dave and I saw the movie "Expelled! No intelligence allowed" It was a "Michael Moore" type documentary (meaning a little over the top), but conservative. We thought it was about education in general, but it's about how the American system of science education treats professors and other doctors of science, if they debate or even have questions about Darwinism. Many in the world's science community have questions about the COMPLETE validity of Darwin's theory of the origin of the species'. Most scientists agree that there is evolution within a species, it's just hard to swallow now that ALL species derived from ONE cell. And even if that were a possibility, how did that one cell come to be? NO one can answer that in a scientifically, quantifiable way. The leading Darwinists had all kinds of theories to the beginning of biological life, from "on the backs of crystals" to "a higher species from another galaxy (aliens?) had enough technological information to send a biological cell from their world into our primordial ooze." Several wacky theories, just absolutely no way could there be intelligent design. I don't know, doesn't the alien theory sound almost like God? Just don't call it God. The leading scientists or Darwinists rather, as they call themselves, are TOTALLY insistent that there is no God, that God is just a fairy tale or myth (yet they have no problem with life being created by aliens or crystals?). They cannot accept that anyone that might consider just the possibility of intelligent design as an alternate theory is nothing more than a fundamentalist wacko with a right wing political agenda - they certainly cannot be considered real scientists. So legitimate professors and doctors of science that have questions about Darwinism or want to even discuss the possibility of intelligent design along WITH Darwinism, get at the very least, their funding cut, but more often that not, fired and blackballed from the university system. Isn't that what science is supposed to be? To question the validity of theories and standard thought? The very religious absolutism that the scientific establishment seems to be so afraid of, is exactly what they are embracing. There is only one way to believe, and if you don't agree, you don't have the freedom to express it within this community - Welcome to the tyranny of American intellectualism.

And now, for something completely different!

My last two blogs are a little angry/whiny. Sorry about that. I'd like to mention something that makes me HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! I LOVE to conduct music, particularly hymnal or sacred music. If I could conduct the "Hallelujah Chorus" with the Tabernacle Choir, the rest of my "bucket list" would be irrelevant. This past Saturday I put together a music workshop for my Stake. It's the first one they've ever had, so about 10 people showed up, but I didn't care. We had an organ class, choral conducting, and basic congregational conducting. I taught the basic congregational conducting class and I loved it. Two of my favorite things together - conducting and teaching - it makes me happy just thinking about it. Most people in the church conduct improperly. We just think if we know a beat pattern that's enough. Actually it is enough, but it is fun to do it right. Give me a good prep beat and strong ictus baby, and I'm yours!

Hmmm, maybe I just have thing about being in front of people. Singing, conducting, teaching, public speaking, acting. Of course, singing, I don't care if anyone hears me or not, I just love to do it anyway. But the other stuff makes me wonder if I'm a little desperate for attention - you know, 6th in a family of 8 kids and all. Or maybe, these things are my gifts and it makes me happy to use them. I choose the latter (even if the former hypotheses is a little true too ;).

Time is free, yet priceless

My sister Liz and I were talking about our unrealized business ideas and ended up questioning ourselves as to the need for us to have said businesses. Is it really necessary for us to immediately give up our free time the second our last child enters school ? (my last child is now in Jr. High - so clearly it's a moot point for me). My husband noticed that this past week I've been the happiest he's seen me in a while (his perception that I must be happy is I initiate... intimacy). What's funny is that I was feeling guilty about the fact that I did as little as possible in the things I have to do; I ended up reading a 450 page book ("Mr. Darcy takes a wife" - hence my need for initiating things), played the piano for an hour and a half, and watched all my tivo'ed shows. OF COURSE I was happy! I feel like I should be helping with our income now, does that mean I am required to - when I don't HAVE to? It's not that I still don't contribute to our family, I still drive all over the place, make food, launder STINKY hockey, lacrosse, basketball stuff, have a Stake calling, 3 ward callings incl. ward camp director, etc. It's not like I do nothing all day - EVERY day. Is it wrong to enjoy my new (okay, 6 year) freedom? The thing is, I haven't allowed myself to enjoy it, because of the guilt. Maybe I just haven't found the right thing yet. Honestly, though - commit my time to another boss, when I finally have a little relief from the "bosses" I already have? Actually, I feel it is my obligation to enjoy my free time as much as possible for those that can't :). I am so done with guilt for no reason. I am resolved to own my time and enjoy it no matter what others feel I should be doing. When I'm ready to fill my days with more responsibility, I will - on MY TIME!

pms - ya THINK?

You know you're premenstrual when you wake up pissed and you want nothing more than to down a can of Betty Crocker dark chocolate fudge frosting out of the can. What is with the intense desire for chocolate, sugar and to make sure the people you love know that they're idiots? Not that it's a totally bad thing. My 18 year old, who is sooo over high school and thinks he can go to class when he chooses, was as usual, sleeping in. I merely told him what I thought of that - true, a little firmer than usual - he was out the door 10 min. later. He could use a little more pms in his life! I'm reminded of the comedienne that fights with her son and he shouts back "I didn't ask to be born, why did you even have me?" She responds with "Well, we didn't think it would be YOU! We thought we'd get someone with a job! It's my own fault, all growing up I told him - ""Don't get smart." Sheesh, I better drink some herb tea, rent a really funny movie and get a message before I do some damage.

For Good

I have had just had a completely transcendent experience! Yesterday Dave and I went and finally saw WICKED! I have waited for years to see this show. It was definitely worth the wait. I would see it again tomorrow if I could. The women that played Glinda (Katie Rose Clark) and Elpheba (Carmen Cusack) were seriously amazing. If you ever have the chance to see this wonderful musical - GO! GO! GO!
About a month ago we saw The Drowsy Chaperon and we enjoyed it very much, but seeing Wicked was like being little and seeing your first musical and knowing that you wanted to do that too. It made me almost sick with wanting to be on stage again. I can't wait to get the music and sing it just for fun!

Killing time

I'm just sitting here in Panera waiting for school to get out to pick up my son Steven. I came here earlier to start my online student development class from BYU. I am finishing my last 5 semesters with them to get what they call a Bachelor of General Studies. They plug in all my previous classes to their required credits, then I take classes to finish the remainder of my credits. The emphasis I am choosing in Family Life. My hope is to finish by next summer. Next fall I am hoping to start a Masters in Social Work and in 4 years, finishing clinical work and taking my boards to have a Ph.d in Psychotherapy and work for family services for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'll always have work! I spoke to a guy on Sunday who worked for Familiy services and he said that the church will hire you part time as an associate counselor while you are getting your Masters and track your time for you. You have to log in a year's worth of clinical time before your boards, so if I get in on that, I'll finish a year earlier and can get hired easier. That's the plan anyway - barring disease or death - well death anyway - the airhead of the familiy will be a doctor. Ironic!

I watched a movie on Sunday called State of Grace. It's a Richard Deutcher film and I LOVED it! I can imagine it was quite controversial when it came out in the west. It's portrayal of the need and possibility of atonement is one of the most powerful I've seen - a little extreme maybe, but powerful nonetheless.

Watched a Tivo'ed Oprah with Doc. Oz. Love Him! I think he's a little delusional sometimes, however. He says that if you have sex 2-3 x a week, you'll live something like 10 years longer. Sorry, but I only have time and energy to live 3 years longer. I'll just eat more blueberries and brocolli.

Everything old is new again

My sister Liz has been harassing me to blog again. I guess only one blog is missing the point. I have something to finally rant about. I actually wanted to write in December about the whole happy holidays - merry christmas thing, but as a musician, December is my crazy season. All I wanted to say about that however is Christians need to seriously lighten up. I LOVE saying "Happy Holidays" just as much as "Merry Christmas"! I love living in a place where Channukah, Ramadan, Christmas and Kwanzaa are all going on and everyone is in such a good place. I really don't think the Savior of the world is getting His feelings hurt by people recognizing and respecting other's religious celebrations instead of only focusing on His birth. Anyway, there was more to say about that last December, but now I have something new.

Friends in my faith are dropping like flies and it's seriously bumming me out! Now, I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like it was because of a sincere soul searching, studious, thoughtful, spiritual need. I'm finding it's more about wanting to come across as "ENLIGHTENED" and "PROGRESSIVE". Many feel that the church of their upbringing is just too old fashioned and naive. The doctrines of the church are based on fear, control, and an outdated cultural puritainism. The thing is, if you don't want to be part of a community of faith, fine, just say so. You are to be respected and loved no matter what you choose to do or not do with your spiritual life. However,every argument about the reasons for their leaving, their need to be enlightened, to have their eyes really opened to truth, to not be shackled by old, outdated philosophies - I can find in very OLD books, histories, and scriptures. There is nothing enlightened about leaving your faith for something easier. There is nothing new about seeing religion, and those who choose to live it, as foolish. There is certainly nothing progressive about limiting your eternal progress to satisfy your vanity by listening to the philosophies of mere men. And NOTHING, frankly, is more old fashioned than making righteousness look boring and unpopular. Okay, here's what kills me. I have friends that have gone to great lengths and great EXPENSE to learn these NEW philosophies. One friend in particular is going to training meetings to learn about the power within her to make her dreams come true. She's learning that it's all about love. No judgements, everyone has a right to their own truth. Now on paper, this is admirable and worthy. The problem is, she leaves her 5 kids at home with a nanny for four days once a month for 2-3 months, then weekends for 6 weeks, then other miscellaneous maintenance days. She won't tell me how much it costs, but it ain't free. And she flies to another state to do this! Oh, but she feels SOOO HAPPY!!!!! I think she has mistaken temporary relief for happiness. She no longer feels "bound" by the restraints of organized religion (read duty, honor, service). Look, living a faithful life is not always pretty. It is hard to deal with people that you wouldn't normally deal with. It's not always FUN to sacrifice your time and pride for the benefit of others. I just have to look at my parents and many other people who have made a lifetime commitment of faith. They have shown the rewards of "finding themselves" the right way. "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake, shall find it" (Matt 10:39). These people have discovered that making a conscious choice to serve and love people - even when it didn't make them "happy" for the moment - has given them true personal power, peace, and purpose. They partake of the REAL happy, it's called joy because it lasts. It turns out that "old fashioned" honor, duty, work, service and love are ideas that are truly "progressive" because they are timeless, true and the will ALWAYS work! Best of all - you can learn and test out these principles for FREE!!!

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World!

Yesterday, I was waiting for my sons' basketball games to start at our local rec-center. I went to get a drink from the fountain and had to wait in a small line. In front of me were two young (maybe 12 or 13) rec-league cheerleaders. One was crazy thin and the other a little further along on the puberty line. I had such a clear picture of them because their cheer outfits made all but their zip code known. Now, I don't pretend not to be a prude when it comes to modesty in young women; I am all about cocooning developing female bods. I'm usually unnerved when I see most young girls in my community - but these outfits made the Pussycat Dolls, look like Cabbage Patch dolls. I can't even describe them, they were so bizarrely vulgar- not to mention completely impractical. Let's just say they better not jump, raise their arms, do any back bends or splits or it's garden of Eden with a little Lycra. The kicker? They cost $260!!!! Apparently, that's platinum Lycra. I was talking to one of the moms and thankfully she was just as dumbfounded, but she was sure that she was going to be the only mom to speak up. She knew her daughter would hate her for embarrassing her. But better to embarrass her now, then in front of all those ball playing boys. The mother was sure her daughter hated her that day for something else anyway so she had nothing to lose. Thank goodness for the occasional parent instead of the indentured adult servant.



Here's the real problem. When girls wear provocative clothing, they set themselves up to be objectified. When you are still figuring out who you are, and you are given sexual attention that early, you stop trying to figure out who you are. You are given something that feels like validation, love and acceptance, but it is false. It is false because the people showing that attention don't have any clue what those true feelings are either. It's especially false because true, healthy feelings of love, acceptance, and validation come from ones self. You cannot develop a true sense of self when you stop trying at 13. That's the problem just for the GIRLS. It's just as much of a problem for young men. Oh, I know, girls should be able to wear whatever they want. If boys have inappropriate sexual thoughts about them, that's their fault. Boys are supposed to have sexual thoughts all the time,it's part of their normal physical development. But in their moral character development, they are to try and control their thoughts. When girls are immodest, it's like waving a plate of brownies in front of someone fasting. It's actually kind of cruel. Revealing clothing hurts all youth. Young women are much more inclined to get into relationships too early and therefore have a much harder time having meaningful, healthy, adult relationships. Young men don't have a very difficult time controlling their thoughts, and frankly have no reason to - it's all out there. They have no reason then to control their actions. In the end they have no reason to wait and learn to please anyone else but themselves - Lose/Lose all around - and society in the end pays the price in less solid healthy family relations. All because two cheer coaches and some weak mothers needed to feed their insecure inner Brittney. As for those outfits - "Take 'em back, Take 'em back, WAAAAYYYY Back!!!