Two random thoughts that I need to write about before I forget.
I just love the idea of the COMPLETENESS of the Atonement. The fact of the the matter is, everyone in this lifetime is going to be hurt by someone they love or trust. Everyone will also hurt someone that loves or trusts them. The atonement covers both parties. The words "He descended below all things" to me represents that Jesus experienced the shame and depravity felt by the one who has sinned against another as much as the fear, pain, and trauma experienced by the victim.
It has taken a long tome to feel forgiven (to forgive myself rather) for knowing that I was given the stewardship of my children and was kind of lame about it. I felt I was neglectful and crabby a lot. I felt angry and resentful and I took it out on my kids. The thing is, the more I've opened up about it and admitted my failures as a mother, the more I understand EVERY MOTHER FEELS THE SAME! No one is as good at this job as they want to be. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE feels they were too angry, too tired, too selfish, whatever, at times. I'm not saying that it's okay to yell, ignore or purposefully hurt your children, I'm saying that the Atonement was made for us ridiculously dumb parents AND the children who suffer at our hands. What makes it easier for me to feel healed from this part of my life (and to be clear, it was not all bad, some of it was pretty great), is knowing that I tried my best to teach my sons this principle of the Atonement for them. If THEY choose, THEY have the opportunity and the right to feel cleansed, peaceful, healed, clearheaded, whatever they need. They just need to choose to believe, humble themselves by opening their minds to the possibility of faith - specifically in Jesus Christ as a divine being that has the power to deliver those things to them based on His voluntary, merciful, loving act of taking upon Himself and experiencing ALL our shame, fear, anger, pain - so we don't have to. It doesn't make sense on paper (which is why faith is crucial), but it honestly, no matter what side of the sin you are on, WORKS! Completely.
The second thing I was thinking about is really random and came from a question that 10 year old Spencer Kandare asked on Sunday as I substitute taught in Primary on Sunday. We were talking about the parable of the wise man/foolish man building their respective houses on either rock or sand. A wonderful parable about choices. Spencer asked, "If we could get in so much trouble, why didn't God just let Satan save us? It seems so much nicer." Yes Spencer, sometimes choosing sucks! I think I have subconsciously felt the same. Like if Heavenly Father loves us so much, why would He make it so hard to be with Him again? And the whole idea of glory - Lucifer wanted the glory for himself, Jesus wanted the glory to go all to our Father - what, didn't He have enough? What's the deal with all this glory anyway?
So it occurred to me that we talk about going back to live with Heavenly Father again as being the goal to making right choices. Well, we've already done that. He doesn't want us to just live with Him, He wants us to live LIKE Him. We can't do that without overcoming stuff. Also, God's ways are not our ways, and that's where Lucifer was confused too I think with the whole glory thing. If we would have followed him and been automatically "saved", we would've been so grateful to him, we would have loved and worshiped him. However, we would be the same spiritually small, innocents as we were before without any reason for experience. God's glory comes from US earning our own glory (see Moses 1:39). Lucifer didn't want just God's glory, he wanted OURS - Boooo! When I choose God's plan, God's way - as I've been taught it - I choose experience, growth and progress, and therefore more glory for myself. THAT is God's glory too. Yea!!! Harder? yes Spencer- but as it turns out, much, much nicer.
I just love the idea of the COMPLETENESS of the Atonement. The fact of the the matter is, everyone in this lifetime is going to be hurt by someone they love or trust. Everyone will also hurt someone that loves or trusts them. The atonement covers both parties. The words "He descended below all things" to me represents that Jesus experienced the shame and depravity felt by the one who has sinned against another as much as the fear, pain, and trauma experienced by the victim.
It has taken a long tome to feel forgiven (to forgive myself rather) for knowing that I was given the stewardship of my children and was kind of lame about it. I felt I was neglectful and crabby a lot. I felt angry and resentful and I took it out on my kids. The thing is, the more I've opened up about it and admitted my failures as a mother, the more I understand EVERY MOTHER FEELS THE SAME! No one is as good at this job as they want to be. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE feels they were too angry, too tired, too selfish, whatever, at times. I'm not saying that it's okay to yell, ignore or purposefully hurt your children, I'm saying that the Atonement was made for us ridiculously dumb parents AND the children who suffer at our hands. What makes it easier for me to feel healed from this part of my life (and to be clear, it was not all bad, some of it was pretty great), is knowing that I tried my best to teach my sons this principle of the Atonement for them. If THEY choose, THEY have the opportunity and the right to feel cleansed, peaceful, healed, clearheaded, whatever they need. They just need to choose to believe, humble themselves by opening their minds to the possibility of faith - specifically in Jesus Christ as a divine being that has the power to deliver those things to them based on His voluntary, merciful, loving act of taking upon Himself and experiencing ALL our shame, fear, anger, pain - so we don't have to. It doesn't make sense on paper (which is why faith is crucial), but it honestly, no matter what side of the sin you are on, WORKS! Completely.
The second thing I was thinking about is really random and came from a question that 10 year old Spencer Kandare asked on Sunday as I substitute taught in Primary on Sunday. We were talking about the parable of the wise man/foolish man building their respective houses on either rock or sand. A wonderful parable about choices. Spencer asked, "If we could get in so much trouble, why didn't God just let Satan save us? It seems so much nicer." Yes Spencer, sometimes choosing sucks! I think I have subconsciously felt the same. Like if Heavenly Father loves us so much, why would He make it so hard to be with Him again? And the whole idea of glory - Lucifer wanted the glory for himself, Jesus wanted the glory to go all to our Father - what, didn't He have enough? What's the deal with all this glory anyway?
So it occurred to me that we talk about going back to live with Heavenly Father again as being the goal to making right choices. Well, we've already done that. He doesn't want us to just live with Him, He wants us to live LIKE Him. We can't do that without overcoming stuff. Also, God's ways are not our ways, and that's where Lucifer was confused too I think with the whole glory thing. If we would have followed him and been automatically "saved", we would've been so grateful to him, we would have loved and worshiped him. However, we would be the same spiritually small, innocents as we were before without any reason for experience. God's glory comes from US earning our own glory (see Moses 1:39). Lucifer didn't want just God's glory, he wanted OURS - Boooo! When I choose God's plan, God's way - as I've been taught it - I choose experience, growth and progress, and therefore more glory for myself. THAT is God's glory too. Yea!!! Harder? yes Spencer- but as it turns out, much, much nicer.
3 comments:
Oh, I LOVE these thoughts!! So well-said. You say everything well, though! I may have to start following this blog! I have always enjoyed your wisdom and the way you can articulate it. I love what you said about failings as a mother, because you are right--EVERYONE does it, feels it. I feel like I was so much happier, nicer, better before I had kids, and that I'm fighting constantly to just be a nice person again. Why do I get so frustrated at toast crumbs on the counter? Why do I get so mad that someone doesn't do schoolwork anywhere NEAR his potential? What do I just let go, and what do I try to work on, and how do I be nice about it when it really just makes me mad? Anyway... it IS a relief to know that the Atonement covers it all. My mistakes AND theirs. And that I can feel peace cleaning the kitchen AGAIN.
Love your comments, Katie, and it feels good to hear that someone else feels the same way about the struggles of parenting.
It is all about the becoming and changing of ourselves isn't it. Sometimes I feel that I blew it when I had the chance though. When things were tough, I didn't always handle it well. It's not over yet, though so I still have more opportunities to grow as a parent. I just don't like looking back, realizing I had one chance to get it right in a certain situation and realizing that I blew it and that this particular circumstance will probably never happen again. I'm glad God is so forgiving.
Been thinking lately about the Parable of the Talents, thinking that it may be a "type and shadow" of both previous events (the war in heaven - 2/3 who progress vs 1/3 who don't) as well as future judgement. The "talents" may very well be the varying levels of ability (mental, physical, spiritual, etc.) given to God's children. And the great question will be: What did we do with them? Did we take them out into the world and use them to be added upon, by blessing others? Or did we hide them away, hoarding them to ourselves alone, avoiding risk or possible rejection and thus blessing no one?
Moral? No risk, no reward. Lucifer's plan simply would not work. It was a sham from the beginning.
Nice post, Kate. You're awesome.
Post a Comment