I'm just sitting here in Panera waiting for school to get out to pick up my son Steven. I came here earlier to start my online student development class from BYU. I am finishing my last 5 semesters with them to get what they call a Bachelor of General Studies. They plug in all my previous classes to their required credits, then I take classes to finish the remainder of my credits. The emphasis I am choosing in Family Life. My hope is to finish by next summer. Next fall I am hoping to start a Masters in Social Work and in 4 years, finishing clinical work and taking my boards to have a Ph.d in Psychotherapy and work for family services for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'll always have work! I spoke to a guy on Sunday who worked for Familiy services and he said that the church will hire you part time as an associate counselor while you are getting your Masters and track your time for you. You have to log in a year's worth of clinical time before your boards, so if I get in on that, I'll finish a year earlier and can get hired easier. That's the plan anyway - barring disease or death - well death anyway - the airhead of the familiy will be a doctor. Ironic!
I watched a movie on Sunday called State of Grace. It's a Richard Deutcher film and I LOVED it! I can imagine it was quite controversial when it came out in the west. It's portrayal of the need and possibility of atonement is one of the most powerful I've seen - a little extreme maybe, but powerful nonetheless.
Watched a Tivo'ed Oprah with Doc. Oz. Love Him! I think he's a little delusional sometimes, however. He says that if you have sex 2-3 x a week, you'll live something like 10 years longer. Sorry, but I only have time and energy to live 3 years longer. I'll just eat more blueberries and brocolli.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Everything old is new again
My sister Liz has been harassing me to blog again. I guess only one blog is missing the point. I have something to finally rant about. I actually wanted to write in December about the whole happy holidays - merry christmas thing, but as a musician, December is my crazy season. All I wanted to say about that however is Christians need to seriously lighten up. I LOVE saying "Happy Holidays" just as much as "Merry Christmas"! I love living in a place where Channukah, Ramadan, Christmas and Kwanzaa are all going on and everyone is in such a good place. I really don't think the Savior of the world is getting His feelings hurt by people recognizing and respecting other's religious celebrations instead of only focusing on His birth. Anyway, there was more to say about that last December, but now I have something new.
Friends in my faith are dropping like flies and it's seriously bumming me out! Now, I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like it was because of a sincere soul searching, studious, thoughtful, spiritual need. I'm finding it's more about wanting to come across as "ENLIGHTENED" and "PROGRESSIVE". Many feel that the church of their upbringing is just too old fashioned and naive. The doctrines of the church are based on fear, control, and an outdated cultural puritainism. The thing is, if you don't want to be part of a community of faith, fine, just say so. You are to be respected and loved no matter what you choose to do or not do with your spiritual life. However,every argument about the reasons for their leaving, their need to be enlightened, to have their eyes really opened to truth, to not be shackled by old, outdated philosophies - I can find in very OLD books, histories, and scriptures. There is nothing enlightened about leaving your faith for something easier. There is nothing new about seeing religion, and those who choose to live it, as foolish. There is certainly nothing progressive about limiting your eternal progress to satisfy your vanity by listening to the philosophies of mere men. And NOTHING, frankly, is more old fashioned than making righteousness look boring and unpopular. Okay, here's what kills me. I have friends that have gone to great lengths and great EXPENSE to learn these NEW philosophies. One friend in particular is going to training meetings to learn about the power within her to make her dreams come true. She's learning that it's all about love. No judgements, everyone has a right to their own truth. Now on paper, this is admirable and worthy. The problem is, she leaves her 5 kids at home with a nanny for four days once a month for 2-3 months, then weekends for 6 weeks, then other miscellaneous maintenance days. She won't tell me how much it costs, but it ain't free. And she flies to another state to do this! Oh, but she feels SOOO HAPPY!!!!! I think she has mistaken temporary relief for happiness. She no longer feels "bound" by the restraints of organized religion (read duty, honor, service). Look, living a faithful life is not always pretty. It is hard to deal with people that you wouldn't normally deal with. It's not always FUN to sacrifice your time and pride for the benefit of others. I just have to look at my parents and many other people who have made a lifetime commitment of faith. They have shown the rewards of "finding themselves" the right way. "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake, shall find it" (Matt 10:39). These people have discovered that making a conscious choice to serve and love people - even when it didn't make them "happy" for the moment - has given them true personal power, peace, and purpose. They partake of the REAL happy, it's called joy because it lasts. It turns out that "old fashioned" honor, duty, work, service and love are ideas that are truly "progressive" because they are timeless, true and the will ALWAYS work! Best of all - you can learn and test out these principles for FREE!!!
Friends in my faith are dropping like flies and it's seriously bumming me out! Now, I wouldn't mind so much if I felt like it was because of a sincere soul searching, studious, thoughtful, spiritual need. I'm finding it's more about wanting to come across as "ENLIGHTENED" and "PROGRESSIVE". Many feel that the church of their upbringing is just too old fashioned and naive. The doctrines of the church are based on fear, control, and an outdated cultural puritainism. The thing is, if you don't want to be part of a community of faith, fine, just say so. You are to be respected and loved no matter what you choose to do or not do with your spiritual life. However,every argument about the reasons for their leaving, their need to be enlightened, to have their eyes really opened to truth, to not be shackled by old, outdated philosophies - I can find in very OLD books, histories, and scriptures. There is nothing enlightened about leaving your faith for something easier. There is nothing new about seeing religion, and those who choose to live it, as foolish. There is certainly nothing progressive about limiting your eternal progress to satisfy your vanity by listening to the philosophies of mere men. And NOTHING, frankly, is more old fashioned than making righteousness look boring and unpopular. Okay, here's what kills me. I have friends that have gone to great lengths and great EXPENSE to learn these NEW philosophies. One friend in particular is going to training meetings to learn about the power within her to make her dreams come true. She's learning that it's all about love. No judgements, everyone has a right to their own truth. Now on paper, this is admirable and worthy. The problem is, she leaves her 5 kids at home with a nanny for four days once a month for 2-3 months, then weekends for 6 weeks, then other miscellaneous maintenance days. She won't tell me how much it costs, but it ain't free. And she flies to another state to do this! Oh, but she feels SOOO HAPPY!!!!! I think she has mistaken temporary relief for happiness. She no longer feels "bound" by the restraints of organized religion (read duty, honor, service). Look, living a faithful life is not always pretty. It is hard to deal with people that you wouldn't normally deal with. It's not always FUN to sacrifice your time and pride for the benefit of others. I just have to look at my parents and many other people who have made a lifetime commitment of faith. They have shown the rewards of "finding themselves" the right way. "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake, shall find it" (Matt 10:39). These people have discovered that making a conscious choice to serve and love people - even when it didn't make them "happy" for the moment - has given them true personal power, peace, and purpose. They partake of the REAL happy, it's called joy because it lasts. It turns out that "old fashioned" honor, duty, work, service and love are ideas that are truly "progressive" because they are timeless, true and the will ALWAYS work! Best of all - you can learn and test out these principles for FREE!!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Save the Cheerleader, Save the World!
Yesterday, I was waiting for my sons' basketball games to start at our local rec-center. I went to get a drink from the fountain and had to wait in a small line. In front of me were two young (maybe 12 or 13) rec-league cheerleaders. One was crazy thin and the other a little further along on the puberty line. I had such a clear picture of them because their cheer outfits made all but their zip code known. Now, I don't pretend not to be a prude when it comes to modesty in young women; I am all about cocooning developing female bods. I'm usually unnerved when I see most young girls in my community - but these outfits made the Pussycat Dolls, look like Cabbage Patch dolls. I can't even describe them, they were so bizarrely vulgar- not to mention completely impractical. Let's just say they better not jump, raise their arms, do any back bends or splits or it's garden of Eden with a little Lycra. The kicker? They cost $260!!!! Apparently, that's platinum Lycra. I was talking to one of the moms and thankfully she was just as dumbfounded, but she was sure that she was going to be the only mom to speak up. She knew her daughter would hate her for embarrassing her. But better to embarrass her now, then in front of all those ball playing boys. The mother was sure her daughter hated her that day for something else anyway so she had nothing to lose. Thank goodness for the occasional parent instead of the indentured adult servant.
Here's the real problem. When girls wear provocative clothing, they set themselves up to be objectified. When you are still figuring out who you are, and you are given sexual attention that early, you stop trying to figure out who you are. You are given something that feels like validation, love and acceptance, but it is false. It is false because the people showing that attention don't have any clue what those true feelings are either. It's especially false because true, healthy feelings of love, acceptance, and validation come from ones self. You cannot develop a true sense of self when you stop trying at 13. That's the problem just for the GIRLS. It's just as much of a problem for young men. Oh, I know, girls should be able to wear whatever they want. If boys have inappropriate sexual thoughts about them, that's their fault. Boys are supposed to have sexual thoughts all the time,it's part of their normal physical development. But in their moral character development, they are to try and control their thoughts. When girls are immodest, it's like waving a plate of brownies in front of someone fasting. It's actually kind of cruel. Revealing clothing hurts all youth. Young women are much more inclined to get into relationships too early and therefore have a much harder time having meaningful, healthy, adult relationships. Young men don't have a very difficult time controlling their thoughts, and frankly have no reason to - it's all out there. They have no reason then to control their actions. In the end they have no reason to wait and learn to please anyone else but themselves - Lose/Lose all around - and society in the end pays the price in less solid healthy family relations. All because two cheer coaches and some weak mothers needed to feed their insecure inner Brittney. As for those outfits - "Take 'em back, Take 'em back, WAAAAYYYY Back!!!
Here's the real problem. When girls wear provocative clothing, they set themselves up to be objectified. When you are still figuring out who you are, and you are given sexual attention that early, you stop trying to figure out who you are. You are given something that feels like validation, love and acceptance, but it is false. It is false because the people showing that attention don't have any clue what those true feelings are either. It's especially false because true, healthy feelings of love, acceptance, and validation come from ones self. You cannot develop a true sense of self when you stop trying at 13. That's the problem just for the GIRLS. It's just as much of a problem for young men. Oh, I know, girls should be able to wear whatever they want. If boys have inappropriate sexual thoughts about them, that's their fault. Boys are supposed to have sexual thoughts all the time,it's part of their normal physical development. But in their moral character development, they are to try and control their thoughts. When girls are immodest, it's like waving a plate of brownies in front of someone fasting. It's actually kind of cruel. Revealing clothing hurts all youth. Young women are much more inclined to get into relationships too early and therefore have a much harder time having meaningful, healthy, adult relationships. Young men don't have a very difficult time controlling their thoughts, and frankly have no reason to - it's all out there. They have no reason then to control their actions. In the end they have no reason to wait and learn to please anyone else but themselves - Lose/Lose all around - and society in the end pays the price in less solid healthy family relations. All because two cheer coaches and some weak mothers needed to feed their insecure inner Brittney. As for those outfits - "Take 'em back, Take 'em back, WAAAAYYYY Back!!!
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